Trauma Olympics and the Race for Recognition
APRIL 3RD, 2024
EPISODE 36: Trauma Olympics and the Race for Recognition with Kai Cheng Thom & Nkem Ndefo
Have you ever felt the pressure to prove that your trauma is more severe than others? Or found yourself in situations where experiences of pain and suffering are compared and contrasted in a competitive way?
Welcome to the Trauma Olympics.
Joining Dr. Scott to unpack this intricate subject are Kai Cheng Thom, MSW, MSc, a certified Somatic Sex Educator and acclaimed author, and Nkem Ndefo, MSN, the founder of Lumos Transforms and creator of The Resilience Toolkit. Together, they explore the different forms of Trauma Olympics, including the troubling trends of one-upping and minimizing others' experiences, and the underlying causes such as capitalism, scarcity mentality, and the quest for validation.
They’ll discuss the negative effects of this phenomenon, such as how it splinters social movements and fosters a culture of constant competition over trauma and they’ll delve into the complex politics of trauma disclosure, examining the pressure to share personal experiences for validation and the crucial right to low disclosure.
This conversation is not just an exploration but also a critical examination of our societal and individual approaches to trauma. Whether you've experienced this phenomenon personally or are seeking to understand it better, this episode offers insights, personal stories, and thoughtful analysis on navigating the challenging landscape of the Trauma Olympics.
Get ready for a profound discussion that sheds light on the complexities and dangers of comparing traumas and the importance of respecting individual boundaries and experiences in the journey of healing and resilience.
Topics we break down
Deep-seated reasons that people choose to engage in Trauma Olympics and comparative victimhood.
Ways in which capitalism and the scarcity mentality support the zero-sum game of comparison.
What it might look like to extract trauma from self-identity and how this relates to healing.
How competitive trauma is incentivized and the dehumanizing effect of hierarchy.
The difference between trauma acting as a social glue and trauma becoming a social disruptor.
Cultivating the capacity to relate to people beyond the sensationalist quality of their story.
Retiring ourselves from the sport of Trauma Olympics by meeting the underlying need.
How power dynamics influence competitive trauma and create a barrier to reconciliation.
What might change if we could communicate in a context where everyone wasn’t stretched so thin.
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE
Show Notes
Episode Links:
Sarah Schulman's book Conflict is Not Abuse
Yasmin Nair - Your Trauma Is Your Passport
Falling Back In Love With Being Human: Letters to Lost Souls! – Kai’s book
Discount Codes:
Save 10% at Omala with offer code DRSCOTT10
Save 10% on The Embody Lab’s live and online workshops and certificate programs* with the offer code GENTLYUSED10
*Does not apply to in-person events or best-sellers.
Special Guest
Kai Cheng Thom and Nkem Ndefo
Kai Cheng Thom, MSW, MSc, is a certified Somatic Sex Educator, Qualified Mediator, Clinical Hypnotherapist and Certified Professional Coach based in tkaronto/Toronto. She is also the author of five award-winning books in various genres. Kai Cheng's work focuses on the intersection of social justice, pleasure activism, and transformative approaches to healing conflict. A noted speaker and practitioner of somatic wellness, healing, and group process facilitation, Kai Cheng supports individuals and groups who are seeking to repair relationships and make transformative change. She also teaches as Adjunct Faculty at the Institute for the Study of Somatic Sex Education.
CONNECT WITH KAI:
Website | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Arise Embodiment
Nkem Ndefo, MSN, is the founder and president of Lumos Transforms and creator of The Resilience Toolkit, a model that promotes embodied self-awareness and self-regulation in an ecologically sensitive framework and social justice context. Licensed as a nurse midwife, Nkem also has extensive post-graduate training in complementary health modalities and emotional therapies. She brings an abundance of experience as a clinician, educator, consultant, and community strategist to innovative programs that address stress and trauma and build resilience for individuals, organizations, and communities across sectors, both in her home country (USA) and internationally. Nkem is particularly interested in working alongside people most impacted by violence and marginalization.
CONNECT WITH NKEM:
Website | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | The Resilience Toolkit
Your Host
DR. SCOTT LYONS
Dr. Scott Lyons is a licensed holistic psychologist, educator and author of the book Addicted to Drama: Healing Dependency on Crisis and Chaos in Yourself and Others, with Hachette publishing. Scott is also the host of The Gently Used Human Podcast, a delightfully depthful and often hilarious exploration of what it is to be human, to have lived life, and come out gently used.
As a renowned body-based trauma expert, Doctor of Osteopathy (Spain) and Mind-Body Medicine specialist, Scott helps people to break free from cycles of pain, limited beliefs, and trauma. Scott is an innovator in transformative wellness and trauma therapy, teaching over half a million people internationally over the past twenty years how to relieve stress and restore vitality. Scott has worked with many of the country’s top leaders and CEOs as an executive coach and wellness consultant.
Scott is the creator of The Embody Lab—the largest online learning platform for body-based trauma therapies—and developer of Somatic Stress Release™, a holistic process of restoring biological resilience, taught in over 20 countries. Scott is also the founder and progressive designer of Omala, a wellness brand dedicated to creating sustainably sourced tools for transformation.
About the Podcast
THE GENTLY USED HUMAN
Dr. Scott Lyons and his world renowned guests take us into the delightfully depthful and often hilarious exploration of what it is to be human, to have lived life, and come out gently used. From passion to pain, glory to defeat, comedy to drama to tragedy, we’ve all been through it. This show unpacks the psychology and humor needed to keep you thriving on the roller coaster of being human.
