Erotic Blueprints and the Map to Intimacy
AUGUST 7TH 2024
EPISODE 54: Erotic Blueprints and the Map to Intimacy with Jessica Fern
In a world where traditional relationship structures are being challenged and redefined, the concept of polyamory has emerged as a topic of both curiosity and controversy. In this episode, Dr Scott delves into the intricacies of this multifaceted approach to love and intimacy with Jessica Fern, a psychotherapist, coach, and author of "Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Non-Monogamy."
Jessica's expertise lies in guiding individuals, couples, and those in multiple-partner relationships to transcend the limitations of reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas. Through her work, she invites us to explore new possibilities in life and love, challenging the conventional norms that have long governed our understanding of relationships.
Dr Scott and Jessica unpack the definition of polyamory and its place within the broader umbrella of consensual non-monogamy. They’ll confront the misconceptions and taboos surrounding this lifestyle, such as the belief that it is rooted in promiscuity or an inability to commit. Together they delve into the concept of erotic blueprints, a framework for understanding our unique desires and needs within the realm of intimacy. Jessica will guide us through the different styles of erotic blueprints, from energetic to kinky, and how understanding our own blueprint can enhance our connections and sexual satisfaction.
Listen in as they embark on this thought-provoking journey, challenging societal norms and embracing the diversity of human connection. Whether you're curious about polyamory, seeking to deepen your understanding of intimacy, or simply open to exploring new perspectives, this episode promises to be an enlightening and transformative experience.
Topics We Break Down:
Understanding Polyamory and Ethical Nonmonogamy: Definitions and different styles of consensual nonmonogamy.
Evolution of polyamory terminology and common misconceptions surrounding ethical nonmonogamy.
Guidelines for setting up rules and agreements in polyamorous relationships, and recommendations for couples considering polyamory.
Differentiating between romantic, emotional, and intimacy needs, and understanding how emotional needs drive relational needs.
Signs of healthy monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, including the significance of self-care.
Recognizing the difference between avoidance and attachment in relationships, and the concept of an erotic blueprint.
Navigating parenting within polyamorous relationships and why relationship success should not be defined by longevity.
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE
Show Notes
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Special Guest
Jessica Fern
Jessica Fern is a Psychotherapist, Coach, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. Jessica is the author of Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and NonMonogamy, The Polysecure Workbook, and Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples, and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love. Learn more at JessicaFern.com.
CONNECT WITH JESSICA:
Your Host
DR. SCOTT LYONS
Dr. Scott Lyons is a licensed holistic psychologist, educator and author of the book Addicted to Drama: Healing Dependency on Crisis and Chaos in Yourself and Others, with Hachette publishing. Scott is also the host of The Gently Used Human Podcast, a delightfully depthful and often hilarious exploration of what it is to be human, to have lived life, and come out gently used.
As a renowned body-based trauma expert, Doctor of Osteopathy (Spain) and Mind-Body Medicine specialist, Scott helps people to break free from cycles of pain, limited beliefs, and trauma. Scott is an innovator in transformative wellness and trauma therapy, teaching over half a million people internationally over the past twenty years how to relieve stress and restore vitality. Scott has worked with many of the country’s top leaders and CEOs as an executive coach and wellness consultant.
Scott is the creator of The Embody Lab—the largest online learning platform for body-based trauma therapies—and developer of Somatic Stress Release™, a holistic process of restoring biological resilience, taught in over 20 countries. Scott is also the founder and progressive designer of Omala, a wellness brand dedicated to creating sustainably sourced tools for transformation.
About the Podcast
THE GENTLY USED HUMAN
Dr. Scott Lyons and his world renowned guests take us into the delightfully depthful and often hilarious exploration of what it is to be human, to have lived life, and come out gently used. From passion to pain, glory to defeat, comedy to drama to tragedy, we’ve all been through it. This show unpacks the psychology and humor needed to keep you thriving on the roller coaster of being human.
